if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
