This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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