Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
