check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
