69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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