I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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