Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
