Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
