You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
