You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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