That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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