I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
