Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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