drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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