He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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