just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
