At least make sure they are 18
Why
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you will always have a special place in my vag
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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