I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
