dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
