Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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