I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
