Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
