'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
