It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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