I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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