I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
