Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Hippo gnu deer
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
