Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
How naked do you want me to be?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
