I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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