Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
How external is "for external use only"?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
