Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
