I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
