I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I need a beard to bite.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
