i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
