Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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