i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
