i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
