the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he thought i was a dude.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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