it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
