the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
smell my finger.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize