Please, let me fuck your mom
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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