i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
