D3 body, D1 cock
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
