the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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