Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I fill condoms, not promises.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
