Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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