She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
