That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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