I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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