THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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