Farmville is her only friend.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
