Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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