so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
