Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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