and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
