D3 body, D1 cock
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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