Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize