If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
