he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
