What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
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