I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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