I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
