I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
