You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
