Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
