no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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