You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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