He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
