Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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