at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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